Bloody fingers are typing this lines, pulsating to make fun of my serious ideas. Physicality and the Imagination of it really surprise me in their difference. Let’s think some days back when we were standing under the milky stars. Cold, sharp breath. I am holding my breath. They are dancing in the black ripped trash bag. A smell of plastic, old food and fresh baguette enters my nose, rises to my head, mixes with adrenaline and evokes a funny trance. I am dumpster diving. Like every evening i am caught in a dilemma situation. How many baguettes can i eat tomorrow and how many would i take just out of rebellion? i am freezing. A little overconfident i settle on eight baguettes, my rebellion is getting accentuated by the fact that i forgot the harbour code. i have to climb the spiky fence and when i arrive on my boat i must laugh loudly about all the cliches i just personified in the last minutes. a very predictable divine actor, but that might be exactly what gets the attention of waves and clouds. i dont care and indulge in fresh baguettes and a little pseudo capitalism anger to keep my character coherent. so much for my new lifes spoiler. here’s how i got looking into dancing trash cans:

in the beginning of october i arrived with an apple between my teeth in the moulin blanc marina of brest. i generously called it a golden prison and enjoyed all my new bought comforts in abundance. the steaming hot showers, jumping from your boat into the city without soaked pants or hard rowing. hot showers. showers of freedom. showers of relaxation. i love them all. the marina has a charm but you pay a great price of self responsibility and betray your newly dreamed of pirate character. rough, physical and embracing discomfort. thats how i am supposed to be according to my ideals. the marina cuts the edge of a sailors life and after indulging in my new comforts i struggled a little against this tranquillising current and adjusted by inventing many mind games. i focused on enjoying the advantages and brought myself back into my body with many daily bicycle kilometres and jiujutsu. made me sleep at peace, at pain sometimes too. but good ground zero pain, form which you can freshly built your future.

my days were physically very productive but driving more in an aesthetic and philosophical direction. it’s harsh self critic and to my advantage i need to say, that it really is a hard search for my sailing equilibrium. i’m alone searching that thin thread of simple self-reliable sailing and philosophy, not many people live sailing in the way i love to do. it’s only my boat and my home so if i want to change something i take wood, hammer and nails. many modern sailors fear to hurt their boat and by that define it as a distant untouchable entity. i find that sad and will work a hard way towards the union of jack and me. the union jack basically. and in fact we are more becoming a team, he is approaching my life attitude in his aesthetic character, we’re learning to know and not fear each other. i feel little difference to genuine human relationship, there is unified exploration but in feeling and not thought. i have great fun personifying what’s commonly seen as an object and even from an ego perspective it will serve me a great deal. right now i am building ocean proof book shelves from old wood and bags from neon green umbrella fabric. both i found in the trash. i hope to make jack a functional and colourful patch of memories which i collected and was given by other people. for example my floorboards are spotted as if a leafy tree and a bright sun were working its magic on it. 

my storages are filling with fuel, water, wine, couscous, chocolate, tools. my body is filling with baguettes, bruises and stains. my mind is filling with confidence and ease, i have found my home after vagabonding the world and i am clear about how possible it is to set out soon. looking back it seems like this evolution has unfolded itself naturally, as if its destiny has been printed out as a long bill on gods desk in advance. gods desk by the way is spotted as if a leafy tree and a bright sun were working its magic on it. twinkling smiley.